Sororako, March 10, 2009

 

So lazy to do things…

 

So tired with all this school administration matter..

I just like staying at my small little tiny room, drowning with my books, reciting the Qoran,..

Hehehe..Irma changes now, huh? Become a religious girl?

 

Not really lah… I just find peace on Allah, when I stay at home, reading His verses,…It just bring the best of me, convince me that among all the problems I have faced and in progress of “mattering” in my life, I’ll leave it soon, and He’s going to change it with the better, even the best one for me…

 

It just a matter of patience and time…

 

And I have to be patience to get the best…

 

God always sends me the best in my life,

He didn’t take the best things I thought for longer time,

But want me to learn from the “best” !!!!

Because He wants me to learn that “matters” make me grown up and tougher than I was…

 

I feel it, I’m tougher now! (Ge-ER!!Mrasamu cewe’…!)

 

And I just realized that, time goes by,..

And as time goes by, I also forgot my past and learnt something from it…

 

Well, maybe word, “forgot” not too suitable for what I’ve learnt.

 

My past was part of my life, it should not be forgotten, but it have to not too get stuck on it,..and move on…

Time is moving, so life is also has to move…

 

As human, sometimes I’m quiet long drowning in my life problem

Too long to be sad,…

But Alhamdulillah, Praise to the Almighty, He just sent me not too long from my despair as change,

Although…He took it again…

 

I was falling into despair when I faced it,…

But when I give myself time to think, without bring my emotion and sentimental feeling, I then get “something” to be learnt…

 

I found God, wants me to learn that He never leave me behind..

He always wants to give me the best…

He sent me a good man which I think suitable for me,

-, with his qualities : religious but not dogmatic, funny-at least I was connected to him,..)

Then, suddenly, God took him from me again,…hgghhh….*deep sigh*,

 

But God taught me, that with all the qualities he has…he’s not good enough for me…

 

I couldn’t blame God for reason I fall in with Him. God has enough protected me by not meeting me closely together with him.

I was the one who was not protected my heart to get crush on him…

And I have to take the consequence as result.

I love him for reasons. I love him for him, not because of Allah…

 

So, I deserved to get hurt..

 

I didn’t regret for the experiences because it happened already, and I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer.

I just regret for betraying my love on Him…