Allah always answers and controls my behavior, becoming my savior when I am so down.

Just now, I was so sad because of a thing I don’t know, it just because of raining then everything was just so wrong for me. Made me so uncomfort. Nobody say hi on me when I came at the school, everybody busies with his/her own business. I was late because of rain.. and I just directly remind h_ m.

Yeah,..everytime I sad, I always remember h_m. Idiot!!

And when I came home earlier, and take a nap, and wish after taking a nap I would be much more better, I woke up and did Dhuhur pray, and then reciting the Qoran, I got verses which answered my prays and controled my mind and emotion. They were:
“And man supplicates for evil (when angry) as he supplicates for good, and man is ever hasty.”
Al Isra :11
(Dan manusia seringkali berdoa untuk kejahatan sebagaimana biasanya ia berdoa untuk kebaikan. Dan memang manusia bersifat tergesa-gesa).

Yesterday, when I saw him around, I was praying like this in my Maghrib and Isya, and all my Qiyamul Lail,:
“Dear God, if h_ is my soulmate, and I won’t hurt anybody with our relationship, please meet us again and tie us in a ,m_ _ _ _ _ _ e, but if h_ is not the one, please find me a better soulmate than h_m to be my h_ _ _ _ _d. And Dear God, please supplicate my soulmate, a good h_ _ _ _ _d to propose me A.S.A.P.” (what a … I insist God?come on,Irma..)
And it answered the day after I pray.

Before that, – yesterday, when I felt so down – I open the Holy Qoran, and I found this verse:
“And if you punish (an enemy,O believers), punish with an equivalent of that which you were harmed. But if you are patient, it is better for those who are patient.” An Nahl:126
(Dan jika kamu membalas,maka balaslah dengan (balasan) yang sama dengan siksaan yang ditimpakan kepadamu. Tetapi jika kamu bersabar, sesungguhnya itulah yang lebih baik bagi orang yang bersabar.” ) An Nahl:126

I have had replied my anger on h_m through ignoring h_m as h_, ignored me. I have had replied my anger through not talking to h_m as h_ hurted me as I know,h_ hated a lot of being silenced. But, I’m not becoming comfort with what I did on h_m.

And then, through that feeling, God leads me to another verse, to realise my sins and what shall I do for my life, for the next life journey:
“Then indeed your Lord, to those who have done wrong out of ignorance and then repent after that and correct themselves – indeed, your Lord, thereafter, is Forgiving and Merciful.” An Nahl : 119
(Kemudian sesungguhnya Tuhanmu (mengampuni) orang yang mengerjakan kesalahan karena kebodohannya, kemudian mereka bertobat setelah itu dan memperbaiki dirinya. Sungguh, Tuhanmu setelah itu benar-benar Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang.) An Nahl : 119
I betrayed on God, I betrayed through love h_m more than God, even love h_m more than myself. But h_ left me behind,right? But God never leave me..