A Memoir of a Teacher

“Life is unfair, but it’s dynamic and that makes it sweet (and sweat…)! So, celebrate it! Enjoy every second of your life”- Irma Savitry

The sentence above just suddenly passes my mind after having some kinds of hard and sweet experience during this 30 years old of my life, hehehe…
Most of the time, I said to myself, why the life seems so unfair on me on my job life – I stumble with some people at work,
Then I ask myself through contemplation, why I feel those so?
At work, when I was a teacher, I used to complaint on works given by school management (principals and vice principals –their name at previous is COS, stand for Coordinator of Subject). Me, as a teacher, got so many things to do such as Lesson Plan, worksheets, taught for about 24 hours when I became a class teacher and taught 28 hours when I became a subject teacher. Moreover, I was pointed to do some extra jobs such as becoming a committee coordinator in student activities.
Then, what the hack the school management job then? Only pointing? giving job? Moreover, they didn’t teach as many as I am? as many as other teachers who is just a teacher? they have so many hours to spend not for teaching but for just sitting there, discuss on each other and come out from the meeting room giving us more and more extra jobs in the words called, ”school program”?
And you know what, after about 4 years working in this institution as a teacher; I was becoming one of the school management. I got a trust to becoming one of the Vice Principal in this school. I refused it when I was asked.
I said, “For God shake! I don’t want to be a vice principal, Sir. I don’t want to be cursed by every people in this school.”
And my boss laughed and said, “Why you said so?”
And I tell the truth to him, “Because I did it..You and your vice principals giving us lots of job to do. And I used to curse you..” Then I told him again my complaints so far. I was told him also at previous time; I only restate them on him.
My boss laugh again then said, “Well, Irma. Don’t you ever think that it is the time for you to sit in the school management and do what I used to do when you are complaining, so you can feel the comfort you’ve just said? You said that becoming principal and vice principals are so comfort right? well, maybe you got some curses but you will get a comfort as you said..”
I was slapped by his word; he challenged me, for not speaking and complaining only for his and other jobs, but to be in the circumstance as he did. Then I said,
“Well, Sir..by saying that, I am so convince that I am not going to take the job! I am sorry for those complaining. I like to be a teacher, I think you have other candidates more qualified than me to sit in the position.”
My boss then smiled again –Yeah, he is a leader who likes to smile. Most of teachers in the school said that he is weak for the system, because he uses to warn some people who disobey the system but only telling them without giving any other hard consequences. People are hate and love him at the same time –and said, “Irma, it is an opportunity for you to experience to be a leader. You are pointed by the Board of Management, and that means you are qualified on that position.”
“Is it you also, Sir, the one who pointed me? Because I myself not so sure about myself.”
“Yes, of course. The position of vice principal is not a permanent seat. Moreover our school is under big company supervision, Irma. And we want to make a progress as fast as the stakeholder asked us to do. We have a target. We have to renew it every time. Including renew the school management. The objective is, the more we have people to support the program, and the more accelerate this school. You are chosen to be in the circumstance. Don’t you feel honored?”said him.
I was trickling with tears after his sayings. And said,
“Sir,..thanks for those trust you all given on me. Of course I am so honored to be chosen, but I don’t know why, I got a terrible fear in facing it..I was so afraid to sit in this position. I was just 4 years worked here than I have to sit to be vice principle, lead many senior teachers and even some of them are my teacher at previous time, they all know my weaknesses, they all know my inferiority. Moreover, the position of this vice principal is a kind of “hot seat”, every person want to be in it. He/she is waiting to be seated, I am afraid if I could be in a misery and jealousy target if I sit on it.”
My boss, smile again and look at me sharply right on my eyes, said,
“Irma, don’t let other people “make”you. Don’t let other influence your life. You are the one who influence their life. Believe in yourself. You have great potentials to be in it. You are young, and I’m sure you have many ideas- and let’s prove it later-, you are a hardworker, and the most important is, you are trusted to sit in that position, so take it!”
“Don’t worry, you are not working alone. We are team. We work as a team either; I am behind you and support everything you do. We are going to plan to do this school altogether. What you have to do now is only say, YES I DO, and do your best! That’s it!”
And after doing istikharah,tahajjud, and finding some advices from my bestfriends and mom, most of them advice me to take that opportunity. My istikharah also said so.
And I said “BISMILLAAHIR RAHMAANIR RAHIIM.Yes, Sir.I accepts that position”.
Now, I am in that position.
And what I thought at previous time it’s easy, it is not easy at all. Besides teaching, I also needs to work together with the other vice principals and principal for the school program. Moreover, in 1 year sit in the position one of the vice principal was resign, and the three of us left, had to share his responsibilities.
I am physically exhausted with my job, but most of time mentally exhaust. Especially when facing my under-supervision colleagues. We argue, we silence on each other, and I continuously learn and learn until now on to build a communication with them.
I am not going to blame on them, and I believe, by only blaming on others or intercepting on each other do not solve problems. I just learn how to understand them, build my confidence and doesn’t let the situation influence myself in negative way, and continuously communicate with my principal and ask for his advices because he is the one who can get along well with his teacher.
I got so many lessons of becoming a leader. And it’s PRICELESS indeed!
I was cried, I was stumbled, be stumbled or intercepted, but I got to rise as soon as possible, wipe my tears and rebuild my confidence to face the people. And I believe I am becoming tougher and tougher day after day. I am no longer Irma : a spoiled girl (or woman, because I am older now to be categorized as girl, isn’t it?hehehe).
So,
“Life is just like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it…” Just celebrate it each time!